Apparently at least one major telephone directory service lists phone numbers according to the time they were subscribed, rather than alphabetical. For months I have been receiving random calls for our outfit that have nothing to do with me, or even this part of the state. Just folks with a general question (which the outfit wisely has a toll-free number for), but somehow when asked, the directory service refers them to me.

Just now, a call from a woman who says...

"I'd like to buy a monkey."

You know, I've never had anyone say that to me before...

"Is it legal?" she asks.

Before I can respond, she continues, "I mean, I know it's not legal in Salt Lake City, but I don't live there. So is it legal here? All I want is a little one, that you can fit in your hand. I've tried to find them on the internet, but had no luck."

"Do you know where I could buy one? Do I have to order one overseas?"

Ummm, I'm afraid I'm not the one to help you. But we have a 1-800 number, and they might be able to answer your questions. Or direct you to who can.

And the woman goes happily on to the next phone number, in search of her hand-held monkey.