Today's meeting was to set up the work schedule for the coming fall hunting seasons. Who's gonna be working what areas and opening dates, and who's gonna shift around to lend a hand. A few notes:

Starting the meeting, the boss decided we should "probably start scheduling for August the 15th, being as how it's already the 23rd."

For game wardens, and a few of the rest of us, holidays are long work days, not days of rest. Everyone else is out recreating, so we're out working. One warden asked if we were going to schedule any extra help on Monday, October 10th, since it's a holiday.

"That's Columbus Day," came the snide response from the warden whose district is on the other side of the Indian reservation. "That ain't no holiday on the reservation."

State law avers that check stations will be manned by the outfit's personnel "in uniform and badge".

I pointed out the problem with us non-enforcement personnel not having badges well over 20 years ago. Finally, an Attorney General agrees. So, this year, we'll have badges.

Nothing fancy, mind you. They even sent back the metal badges because they looked "too good."

We get little clip-on plastic IDs, like hospital identification cards.

I requested #13. Boss says he'll make sure I get it.

But the "title" on the "badges"?

"Check Station Attendant" (emphasis added).

I kid you not.

I asked if we're going to be handing out towels and selling cologne, too.

In describing the fiscally conservative policies of one of the higher (absent) bosses, a warden noted "He pinches that nickel so hard the Indian jumped on the buffalo and ran away."

And, finally, a quote from another of the enforcement people. He asked who last had the catalogue that circulates for ordering enforcement supplies "like rubbers."

I kid you not.