My nephew, the groom, seated his mother directly in front of us. And then brought up his father and his step-mom. Seated his step-mom right in between the divorced parents, shoulder to shoulder. Not sure if that was wise or not, but the two women were nudging and whispering and smiling to each other as the ceremony progressed. Twelve years ago you would have wanted to do a weapons check on my sister if the two were in the same room. Felt good to see this change.

The wedding began with one of my nieces and a young boy from the bride's family coming forward to light the candles on the altar. The first of seven candles on my niece's side refused to light. She wisely let it pass and lit the other six, keeping in time with her new cousin-in-law. Followed by lighting her half of the pair on the altar. And then she stubbornly went back and lit number one. He waited like they had rehearsed it that way. Pretty good ad lib for kids so young.

Standard large wedding party. Five attendants on each side. Color scheme was white and purple, if you care. Bridesmaids' purple dresses were not identical. Three with wide straps, two strapless (like the bride). Forgot to ask how they decided who got which dress style, but they alternated between the strapless and straps. Strapless definitely looked better. The rose tattoo on the matron of honor's shoulder was cool.

Oddly, the ring bearer was a perfect gentleman (my job on two occassions...really hard to stand still for that long), but the flower girl was a little pistol. During the sermon she cocked her head and rolled her left hand urging the pastor to get on with it. Maid of honor had to bend down to apply gentle, subtle physical restraint when she started playing with the glassed candle on the altar rail.

Their vows ended with "...until you are dead" rather than the more traditional "until death do us part." Definitely prefer the traditional wording. Hearing "...until you are dead" gave me images of people in a War of the Roses plotting each other's demise, rather then a shared life until a forced parting. Am I wrong here?

Wife agreed with me, so case closed.

Did a lot of *nudge, nudge* with the wife during the vows. Saw my mother do the same with my Dad. Really cool. When they started holding hands, wife let me know she wanted to do the same.

After the vows the new couple stood at the altar listening to a selected song played on the sound system. Nice song (cannot remember it though), almost professionally sung. Assumed it was by a friend and wisely held my tongue about a few flat notes when at the reception later.

Wrong. It was the bride herself singing it. Good voice, but I'm glad I kept my nit-picking critique to myself.

The reception was held at the country club two towns over. Drove right past it because it looked like you were coming into the maintenance yard for the golf course garage. Really. But the garage was the club. Nice inside though, with a good view of the course.

Five tier cake, if anyone is counting. Alternating white and chocolate layers. No choice, you had to take what was cut. I got stuck with white. Everyone else at our table got chocolate. (Still have pieces of our white wedding cake and chocolate groom's cake in our freezer, believe it or not. They even survived the catastrophic freezer failure a few years back.) Pleased that the bride and groom resisted urges from the frat crowd to do the stupid cake in the face routine.

Apparently one of the families I am newly in-lawed with believes in free-reign child rearing. Two brothers came up immediately after the cake cutting and intentionally pulled down the tower of plastic wine goblets. And then began stomping on the goblets. Bride and groom wisely moved back to the dining tables to resume the festivities, but the parents never did rein in their kids. Club staff had to clean up the mess, and guests got their non-alcohol wine in plastic cups instead. Weird.

Nice little hand-made butter mint candies. Red was cinnamon, green was mint. Didn't taste the blue. Bride's mother made over 900 of the little suckers. Wife smuggled one of each color out, to freeze and send back on their first anniversary. (We still have a dozen or so of our wedding mints, in a can on an end table in the living room. Can vapor-sealed itself long ago. But we can hear the mints rattling in there, and know what we have.) Each place at the tables was set with a fake white rose, actually a hand-sewn silk sock stuffed with chocolate kisses and Star-Bursts. Had the usual red and white heart-shaped glitter scattered on the table cloths.

Anyone else been at weddings where the bride's garter is auctioned off, instead of thrown into a crowd by the groom? New to me. Wife goaded sons up into the crowd, but they slunk back when it turned into an auction. Last I heard was $80. And the groom took it off with his teeth.

Low ceiling in the club, so the bridal bouquet was caught on the rebound off the floor. Whoever she was, she wanted it bad.

There was a young woman at the reception that looked almost exactly like the bride. But was not in the wedding party, as the bride's sisters had been. She caught me staring once. Finally asked the father of the groom about her, who advised she was the bride's first cousin. One of those places with a shallow gene pool. But good genes. Not one of the women in the bride's family (~80 of her side attended) were overweight. Not in the least. Not even the bride's great-grandmother. All slim and fit. Good prairie stock. Not much diversity in the crowd, though.

I was told in this county, if you're not a Johnson, then you'll marry one. With this wedding, my ex-brother-in-law suddenly became in-laws with the man who used to be his pilot, as well as another man who was a business partner. And he did not learn this until the wedding.

Overheard the father of the bride, when asked what type of dog he had, answer "Four-legged."

Interrupted... continue later.