One thing we have been unable to break this current pack of heelers from doing is getting into the trash.

Not the kitchen garbage, although I'm sure that is a temptation, because it is pretty much out of reach.

But they love to get into the trash cans in the bathroom, bedrooms and living room. So we have a rule that nothing food-related goes into those cans. And the wife is careful to drop her highly attractive (to heelers, folks. get your mind out of the gutter) menstrual trash in the kitchen garbage.

But the boys invariable fail to follow the no food rule 100%, adding in tissues from bloody noses, and the wife's godson forgets the rule more than he remembers. So whenever we come home, there is a mess to pick up.

Used to scold the heelers every time, but it never worked. And the timid maskless heeler would run to each one of us when we got home, ears back, as if saying "I didn't do it! I didn't do it!" So about a year ago I told them (yes, I have discussions with the heelers) that they won. I would no longer hassle them about getting into the trash. It wasn't worth the wear on everyone's nerves.

They still haven't gotten used to it.

Came home late tonight after our fifth evening of delivering phone books, and there was litter from three cans scattered through the house. Didn't say a word as I picked up the mess, but the heelers still slunk around like they were guilty of something.

"We cannot relax until we've had our scoldings!"

We know the masked heeler did it regularly. Left the videocam running on the dresser and caught her in the act.

We know the little maskless heeler at least occassionally participated, since the undigested paper products had difficulty coming out the other end.

And we're pretty sure the heeler Mom joined in too. She just always looked guilty.

But since they won, they are sometimes brazen enough to get into the trash when I'm home in the office.

Like today.

Wife came home for lunch, and when I heard the front door shut as she left to go back to work, I trotted upstairs to say goodbye.

Less than 10 seconds after the wife left the house I caught the heeler Mom slinking away from a pile of tissue paper on the living room floor.

The shred of tissue hanging from her bottom canine was kinda incriminating.

I pulled the tissue off without a word and went out to tell the wife.

Brazen heelers. Nothing worse than sore winners.