For almost two weeks I'd protected those 27 staples. Kept them clean and dry. And now, after pulling them out one by one, the surgeon grabs a long steamed q-tip and pushes it down into the incision.

And opens a third of it up like a bloody zipper.

Geeez.

No anaesthesia, no sterile field.

He gently shoves gauze into my opened belly and pulls it out, soaked with blood.

Calling the wife over, he asks her if she can do this once a day.

"Good thing I'm a biologist's wife," she answers.

"My wife'd never be able to do that," announced the visiting physician.