Nearing the end of the "fiscal year" for our "wellness" program, participating employees are required to grade our own performance during the past year. On such general themes as diet, exercise, and medical screenings (unfortunately I easily score an 'A' for that one).

And "life risks".

Okay, I was candidly honest on the first two as I filled out the form. I passed, but not with honors. But I was happy to grade myself for "life risks". I announced aloud I was giving myself an 'A'.

"What?" comes the wife's surprised voice from across the room.

Well, I don't smoke, take illegal drugs, barely drink, and don't drive recklessly. Nor do I do any extreme sports.

"What do you call slapping the tails of free-ranging rattlesnakes with your bare hand?" she retorts.

Ummm, fun? I answer, as I recall counting my 5th coup on one of those poisonous reptiles on Monday.

"And what about eating all that cantaloup in a restaurant even after all those Listeria warnings?"

Okay, okay.

I gave myself a 'B'.