The wife's outfit uses a lot of specialized software, at which she is adept. So it has been no surprise over the years as they replace or upgrade their systems, she has been placed on the work groups to test the beta versions, recommend changes, and to train others.

So when I got the email advising I was assigned to a work group to upgrade one of our software systems, my response was...

Oohhhh, crap.

I tried out that online mapping software when it first came available a couple years ago, and it was so slow, cumbersome and full of errors I never went back. Literally. I didn't even remember how to log on. I mean, I got most the GIS I need right here on my machine, and all the other stuff comes to us at least as maps on PDFs. I can overlay maps in my mind quite easily, thank you. Even legal descriptions aren't that hard to visualize.

So our first gathering was a conference call today. My plan was to spend most of Sunday at least relearning how to log on, and then try to rediscover my way through the menus and protocols.

A golden eagle with a broken wing messed up six hours of that plan.

So, first thing this morning, I'm logging on, and flying through at least the basics. You know, it actually works fairly well, now. When did they speed that up? Still, ten to fifteen seconds just to complete a simple pan in or pan out on a map is too ridiculous to be practical.

Then it was time for the conference call. By the time I get dialed in (and promptly cut off, along with others, because our technology gurus aren't familiar with which buttons to use to set up conference calls) I have at least been on the system I'm supposed to help revamp.

After the usual opening explanations about our group's mission, the call for recommendations is made. And my name is the second one the big boss calls out.

Why? Because I haven't been on the system in two years?

"Well, actually, yes," she answers.

Apparently I and at least a couple others in the group are here specifically because we never use this wonderful software product. And they would like to know how to fix it.

Wow. Government employees who really are here to help!

What a novel concept.