It's been months.

So, naturally, a few things have changed. They've got two new spotters for one thing. And the wife's face spun to stare at me, eyes wide and white, when the auctioneer mentioned they accept "MasterCard" instead of his old standard "MasterCharge".

When I moved to this state, I explained to family and friends that it was like stepping back twenty years. And it seems some changes, like a company's name, do take longer to take hold here.

But it was a big auction, and a big crowd. The antique dealers, both professional and amateur, were there, so things didn't go cheap. Not a lot of bargains.

Unless, of course, you were in the market for Bigfoot fuzzy bedroom slippers. That was the first item on the block, and they started at $5.

The auctioneer was in his familiar, chanting cadence when he noticed the first bidder trying to bid again.

"I got your five dollars. I'd take you again, but we got to let the others play."

She got them for five dollars.

As the contents of the next box were poured out on the table, the auctioneer explained that"many of you may not know what these are..."

"They're called "8-track tapes", and that's what we had before cassettes."

Some in the room probably didn't know what "cassettes" were...

But he cautioned us before starting the bidding. Many of these tapes were a little different. He rattled off a couple titles. Definitely soft-core porn tapes.

I didn't even know they made porn 8-tracks.

Soon after came an item that looked all the world like a giant C-clamp. But it was reportedly an antique scale. Starting at $50, nobody wanted it until the asking price was down to $10. Then bidding was fast and furious, by fives, until it stopped at $155. #12, a young woman in the front row was the winner.

"You must really like to hear me talk," he chided her, "to start that at ten dollars."

Lefty, the man whose estate we were all clawing at like vultures, had been an outdoorsman.

Well, okay, that's kind of a misnomer. He liked to kill things. Sometimes more than he was supposed to, sometimes at the wrong time of year. He and his huntin' buddy were two who the local game warden warned me about when I first arrived in this community. Something about the two of them being found with five or six dead elk one year...

So there was lots of outdoors equipment. A couple goose decoys went for $155. Two unused 1950s bait containers (aerated boxes for growing your own worms, complete with sterile mulch) were sold to #12 for $17.50.

Until the auctioneer's dad and he realized they had both been spotting her. They were essentially bidding her against herself, starting at $10.

The room got stunningly quiet when grandpa insisted upon having the two boxes retrieved from her so he could resell them. He started the new round at ten dollars again, but immediately announced them "Sold!" and had them returned to #12.

With a grin.

Lefty knew how to make things. They sold a huge auger that he made from a starter for a Ford truck. And he made his own lead fishing weights. Roughly 120 pounds of lead sold for $40. One of the experienced spotters had fun telling one of the new guys to carry a bucket of lead chunks to the winning bidder.

He told us after the auction he made the kid carry the same bucket up the stairs from Lefty's basement.

One step at a time, of course.

Lefty was also a WWII veteran. From the European theater. And had tons of old army gear. A lamp he made out of a 105-caliber howitzer shell went for $55.

And Nazi memorabilia and war booty.

A box of Nazi patches went for $45. Four German sniper scopes for $20 each. One of the winning bidders was sitting next to the wife. After he acquired a box with a whole roll of uncut Nazi armbands, a belt buckle, and a stack of Nazi Eagle shoulder patches (for $130), he leaned over to the wife and announced "I'm going to start my own revolution tomorrow."

Yeah, he was kidding. We've known him for years. He ended up giving most of the Nazi linens in that box to the kid in front of me, or the kid's father. Turns out all he really wanted was an apparently rare Nazi Party button pin.

He claims most of those ended up in the Rhone when the Allied armies arrived. Said he expected "the river probably rose a foot from all the pins the Germans threw in."

The kid managed to win a Nazi swastika flag and wall banner for $200. "You didn't hurt yourself with that," he was consoled. Apparently all terribly collectible. The three of them passed Nazi items (and one WWII Soviet pin) back and forth in front of us for much of the auction. Mostly it was our friend telling them what they had. Felt a little weird handling a genuine Nazi eagle. Looking at a Nazi flag and wondering where it flew.

A couple Nazi patches had them all three stumped. The wife suggested they could look it up on the internet.

"We'll just ask grandfather," the dad concluded.

We know their last name. Had to wonder if grandfather was not on the American side in that war.

The estate's original owner also served in several local police forces. Two of his original gold bages went for only $60.

The third badge had been stolen from the auction house before the sale. A rare event in the past, but we have a lot of new people in town now.

A box of miscellany yielded a "neat multi-tool". According to the auctioneer, "I have no idea what it's for. Never seen one like it."

"But it's the best one we've ever sold."

An antique brass rack of bells sold for $75. They said it was for mounting on a horse's saddle, but the wife thinks they were wrong.

She says it came from a camel.

Have no idea how she knows that, but I'll side with the wife.

Lefty also worked a stint on the railroad, and had railroad gear, too. Including complete conductor's and brakeman's uniforms from the '50s. Three red switch lamps went for $42.50.

Each.

He had a rack of assorted outdoor tools. One batch of which grandpa suggested would make a good birthday present for a wife. When our friend next to the wife bid, he was chided "Boob, we know you're not going to use those."

No, that's not a typo above. The guy's name is Booby. Or, "Boob" to his friends.

Really.

Tied for the highest bid ($1550) in the auction was...

A slot machine. From somewhen in the '50s, they guessed. There were three slot machines (quarter, dime and nickel), but only the dime machine still worked, and it got the highest price. The other two went for $850 and $1100. There was a time when it was illegal to even possess those machines in our state, but apparently the law never looked in Lefty's garage.

The other highest bid item was a saddle, probably 50-70 years old. It sat on a stand near the front all morning with everything around it being sold. Sometime after lunch, # 12 headed off towards the bathrooms. Naturally that's when they brought the saddle to the block. She came dashing back into the room when the bids were already over $700.

And took it for $1550.

After the auction, the auctioneer claimed it was probably worth closer to $3000. Said the German stuff went cheap, too.

I couldn't believe how many cell phones went off during the auction. It was like a steady din.

I didn't even bring mine.

I wondered if any of them were people phoning in bids to proxies, and then noticed one of the new spotters. He won Lefty's smaller patio barbecue grill, but did it while taking bid instructions from his phone.

We got several comments about us not bidding on anything. But we hadn't scoped out the wares at all, and mainly came for the entertainment.

And to watch eldest son spot.

But near the end the wife checked out the furniture, which is always sold last. And spotted a nice, old wooden filing cabinet. She wanted to bid, if it "went cheap".

How cheap is "cheap", I wisely asked.

"Ohh, $75 or less," she answered. Unfortunately, when it finally came up, she got on the wrong cycle and ended up bidding the tens while her opponent got the fives. Son's face fell when she quit at $70, and let the antiques guy stayed ahead at $75.

Then a third bidder came in, and got it for $80.

Was a pain in the butt getting it into the Explorer.