The wife recommended the heelers stay home.

I mean, a two and a half hour drive, followed by two and a half hours in a parking lot, with a two and a half hour drive to get home. What fun is that?

But hey, they haven't been anywhere in weeks.

They insisted.

And yeah, I know it's only two and a quarter hours to get where we were going. But I had to stop and let them have some fun, didn't I?

If, I suppose, you can call squatting in a howling ground blizzard with snow blowing up your tail "fun"...

The point of this long sojourn?

To get briefed by one of the outfit's number two bosses on the new program we are entering for evaluating, prioritizing and accomplishing habitat improvements across the southwestern portion of our state.

A thirty year program.

Yes, seriously. These people think long term. When you're dealing with projects to improve sagebrush (a long-lived plant, 70-100 year life cycle) or other western species, you'd better be a long-term planner.

Now, this wasn't a person-person type meeting. We used modern technology... video-conferencing. Which actually worked surprisingly well.

Now, there was the problem that no one told the video guru in the office we were at that said conference was even going to occur...

Hence her being home with a sick child, and not there to set things up. Something revealed around 12:53.

Conference began at 13:00.

Fortunately, the guy in the office next door had watched her enough times to know the secrets.

1. You plug the thing in. (Actually, I had figured that part out before he showed up.)

2. You put the microphone on the center of the table.

3. You plug in the ethernet connection.

And this, step number 3, was the critical part where you needed somebody with local expertise. 'Cause, you see, the equipment and conferences are held in the library. And the ethernet jack is...

Hidden behind the volumes on the bottom shelf, right-hand side, second rack from the left, on the north wall.

Not knowing that, you could be there for hours removing books and volumes trying to find that internet connection.

So. Now we all know the secret.

When all was running (except for folks in the southwestern office, whose techie never got their split screen to work... it's in the remote controlled menu, folks), we had the powerpoint presentation spread over most of the screen, a self-image in the lower right, and the upper right was the 4-way split screen of all four offices that they were looking at in Capitol City.

Net result was, we could see ourselves twice. But the smaller image was bounced back through the university's system, with an obvious time delay. I noticed the gal across the table from me slowly drumming her fingers, playfully watching the time lag of her fingers drumming on first the small screen, and then a second later on the quarter screen.

So I wasn't the only one.

They went through and had everyone introduce themselves, in all four towns. At the southwestern town, a name with no body spoke out, with only a hand waving from a corner. There was plenty of room at the center table, so Number Two Boss instructed the hidden viewer to "move onto the screen."

He refused.

You can do that, in this outfit. And even get away with it.

The spokesman for the southwestern group quickly spoke up... "We're having a time out in the corner..."

The presentation was probably only an hour long. Heavily loaded with the buzz words "coordinated", and "comprehensive strategic approach". At least 50 times each.

Well, okay, maybe not 50. But certainly 30 times.

When boss was done with the powerpoint, he asked for our feedback and questions. And this is an exact quote:

"Be candid. Tell me it's the dumbest idea ever, if that's what you think."

"It's gonna happen anyway, but go ahead."

At least they're honest in this outfit.

Ron (from the southwestern town, of course) spoke up in his most buttery voice.

"John, I don't think your plan is stupid at all."

"This guy sitting next to me (his boss) has some problems with it, but I think it's a good idea."

And that was pretty much the tone for the remainder of the conference.

God I love working with these people.

One short, brief final note. If anyone out there ever has the responsibility of running one of these conferences... tell people when it's done, 'kay?

The only way we knew was when half the Capitol City crowd got up and left.