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29 July 2006 - 23:21

california dreamin'

I was prepared to be pleasantly surprised. There were already four vehicles parked up on the ridge ahead of me. I was only two minutes late, and there might actually be a small group gathered.

I was wrong. Five vehicles. Five people.

Three of us representatives of different levels of government, supposedly here to answer questions from the expected crowd of ranchette owners.

One of us the persistent organizer of this "open house" in the desert. One of the ranchette owners.

The fifth?

His son.

Yep, after hounding me regularly since at least March, and the other two "experts" for a similar amount of time, we had...

no one to talk to.

But the program went ahead, on schedule. With each of us introduced and interviewed on tape.

As if there was actually a crowd that we were talking to.

Ooookay.

But we coulda done this a lot closer to town. And maybe in some shade, and nobody would be the wiser.

And I wouldn't be so sunburnt.

Yes, I know about protecting myself from the desert sun. And didn't, on purpose, so I would be forced to come home before noon.

Didn't work out that way.

We did finally get one other landowner and son to show up, an hour late (following a reminding phone call). Even more of a dreamer than the organizer.

Both residents of California, did I mention?

But it was pleasant enough conversation, even with the microphone taking down almost every word. Even if, half the time, we government guys were talking to ourselves.

For hours.

Really. At least two 90-minute cassettes worth.

Nobody else noticed the prairie falcon that curiously passed us by.

At least I was able to walk right to the lek on my tour, so it at least looked like what I knew what I was doing. And, as usual, I still managed to learn a few things. And now there are five more people who know what sage grouse shit smells like, that did not before.

The organizer is certainly an organizer, bringing along nature displays for the many children he expected to show up with their parents. The fossilized mammoth tooth from the bottom of the North Sea was cool, although I'm not sure what it has to do with the North American desert.

Likewise, I'm not sure kids would appreciate perusing the scientific data table handouts showing the reduction in bison bone sizes since the last Ice Age.

Remember this tepee?

A little worse for wear, now.

It was a little disturbing to hear the group discussing what to do with the abandoned structure.

I mean, hadn't we just spent hours describing and agreeing why this dry, arid land shouldn't be disturbed?

Tear it down, man.

And no, I do not think the tribal council of the nearest Indian tribe would be flattered if you asked them to come down a hundred miles and show you how to put it up properly.

Especially if you again suggest one of them live in it to greet the tourists in covered wagons you want to bring in.

Really. Seriously.

I told you... they're from California.

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